consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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