She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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