Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
