That's when you crack a 10am beer
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He did a backflip because drugs
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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