what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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