I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
