I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
