Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
