No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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