K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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