Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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