I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
