I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
