hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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