Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
