So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
