She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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