Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
