Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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