.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
