i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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