im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
