Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That's how pantless uber rides happen
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
