Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
