Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
