You're a womanizer and a bitch.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
