you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
worst night to have a conscience
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
