I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
