He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize