no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
