you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
