Me too!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
