Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
