I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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