My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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