This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
