Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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