Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
