don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
