To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just invented taco cereal.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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