We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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