their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
