The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
