Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
