'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize