I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize