Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize