So drunk its hurt
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
