break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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