I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
