you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
