Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
