so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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