My first STD was from a foam party
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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