im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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