My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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