I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
