I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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