I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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