so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
