I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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