I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
