Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
