...so i touched it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
