Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
