today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize