yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm at about main and main street
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
