i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
